I learned that betrayal is sudden, but inevitable.

I learned that I can wear my pretty floral bonnet and still end someone.

I learned that the Bible is a mite fuzzy on the subject of kneecaps.

I learned that Stegosaurus and a T-Rex can never be friends.

I learned that after a long day, you’ll feel better if your spouse tears your clothes off.

I learned that spaceships are not science fiction but telepathy is.

I learned that, despite being told not to hit someone in the face with a closed fist, sometimes it’s just hi-larious.

I learned that the key to most situations is giving Jayne a heavy stick and standing back.

I learned that “If someone tries to kill you, you try to kill them right back!”

I learned that if someone vows revenge, kick them into the intake of the port engine.

I learned from Jayne the best way to make a girlfriend (or drag-queen friend) feel better about herself. Tell her, “If I could make you prettier, I would!”

I learned form Jayne that it’s best not to kiss’em on the mouth.

I learned that nuthin’ from nuthin’ is uh… nuthin’

I learned that some things need to be translated into Captain Dummy Speak.

I learned to swear in Chinese.

I learned the Bible can be pretty racy when it discusses plows.

I learned: stealing medicine from very sick frontier folk: BAD; stealing medicine from Alliance Hospital and selling to not as sick frontier folk: GOOD.

I learned that strawberries can be very erotic.

I learned that tearing the clothes off your spouse is work… work… work. But hey, somebody’s gotta do it!

I learned “whore” is just another way to say “I Love You”.

I learned that if someone tries to kill me, it’s ok to kill’em back.

I discovered that I’m happy with being just all right.

I learned that if you love it… it will go away.

I learned that while there isn’t always justice in the universe, there always friends.

I learned that no power in the ‘Verse can stop me.

I learned that once you’ve found Serenity, you can’t live anywhere else.

I’ve learned that if I’m still flyin’… it’s enough. Everything else will come in time.

I learned that sometimes it’s better to go to your bunk.

I learned that big, ugly, violent guys look better in red.

I learned that sex is a thing worth surviving for.

I learned that Joss Whedon is an unmercyful god, and sometimes the devil.

I learned the readings of Shang-Yu.

I learned to never trust a woman called Saffron, Brigitte or Yolanda.

I learned that is better to vote on the whole murdering people issue.

I learned that you don’t fix faith, it fixes you.